So, my silence for the past week only meant one thing -- that I did not get the job. I kind of had a feeling I wouldn't but when it was confirmed and realized, boy was it a devastating blow. It's not that I haven't been rejected before, but the headhunter told me the reason for the rejection was that they didn't think my "accountability" was up to their standards or somesuch bullshit. I was so shocked at that revelation that I couldn't even compose a response.
As promised, there were tears at the news. Thankfully, I didn't speak to the headhunter until I was ready to leave the office. I'm sure the pained look on my face was evident. As soon as I got on the train, the tears started to flow and almost didn't stop until I got off. All I could think of was how wrong they were about me and how everyone I've ever worked with could tell them otherwise. It angered and saddened me. I had never felt so frustrated.
Of course, a lot of the let down was my dreams of telling my current employer to kiss my ass was only just a mere fantasy once again. I was miserable. It wasn't just the rejection per se, it wasn't just feeling stuck in my current situation, it was all that AND the fact that my accountability was attacked and wrongly deemed unfit. As the week went on, I became angrier and angrier.
Then this morning, I got an epiphany -- the email that I was going to send when I thought I was "on the fence" but didn't, I will send in rebuttal to the rejection. WHAAAAT? Oh YES I DID!!! All the things I wanted to say but didn't I could in a follow up email. And nothing brought me back to life again more than thinking about what I was going to say.
I think the timing was right being that it was exactly one week ago, and hoped that I wouldn't receive the "official" rejection letter in the mail today. I still may get it tomorrow but at least my message would have gone out there and they would have received it first. I drafted my response in a blank Word document before fine-tuning it for sending through the electronic airwaves. I made sure to say everything I wanted to say and give several reasons why they are wrong in their assumption of me. Maddening!
I re-read it over and over to make sure the tone wasn't harsh or otherwise "offensive" in any way (though with those people, who knows what they'll make out of it). I wanted to get my feelings across without making it look like I was in attack mode. I think I accomplished what I had set out to do. I even closed with wishing them luck in their continued search.
Yea, I got rejected once again. But I stood up to my beliefs and defended my honor. They can take it or leave it or make up stories about it for all I care. I did this for me. I did it to let them know that I'm not going to take their wrong assumptions lying down. I may just be the first person ever to rebut a job rejection, but at least saying my part has made me feel better.
Perhaps I can use this experience as a future example of how I handle things.
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